Day 2: your parents;

When I look back over the past 4 years, I am filled with so much guilt over the way I treated you two.
When I found out we were moving to Perth, I was so mad. I thought my 16 year old life was over. I thought, how dare you try to break up me and my boyfriend, can’t you see it’s love?
Do you not care that I have all my friends here?

I was too self obsessed to even realise that there were 3 people moving, not just me. I didn’t even take into consideration how hard it would of been for you two, to have to move again, to a foreign place and make new friends when your english wasn’t as fluent as mine. I didn’t even grasp the fact that you, mum, were giving up your career, something you studied so hard for, knowing there may not be that kind of work in Perth (there isn’t).

Here I was thinking you were ruining my schooling when in reality, I barely went & I didn’t learn a thing since 2004 so it’s not like it mattered.

Instead, I didn’t come home for nights on end, caused you alot of stress and even threatened your 20 year marriage.
And when we finally moved to Perth, I packed my bags one day and got on a flight back to New Zealand and made YOU pay for my flight home once I learnt my lesson about in-dependency.

Yet you still forgave me after those 2 years of hell. And you both picked up the pieces once I was ready to recover. You forced me on that flight to detox and it turned out to be the best thing for me.

This move was the best thing for me and I’m sorry I’ve only realised that 3 years too late. When I look around, I realise just how lucky I am to have another chance. I know you still don’t trust me after years of me lying to you and betraying you and I also have a feeling you think I’m using again because my lifestyle hasn’t changed that much but if there’s one thing I can say, it’s that I’m not lying & I’m not using. I know you’re just waiting for me to fall again, but I won’t.

Love A


4 thoughts on “Day 2: your parents;

  1. Everyone makes mistakes in life, it’s what we learn from. And most kids have a dark period they go through, it’s tough on the parents but it’s also what they signed up for when they decided to become parents. I’m sure we’ll be going through a bit of hell ourselves once our future kids become teenagers. It’s a sign of maturity that you realize your mistakes and what it did to your parents, and even moreso that you don’t want to go back to using. Your parents will probably always seem like they are sceptic towards you and wonder if you are using again – it’s only because they love you and are worried about you.

  2. I would like to hope all the pain I made them suffer is all in the past now. I feel guilty to get this tattoo because I know they will be upset buuuuuut in a way, it’s no where near as bad as when I was going around lying & not coming home for days on end.

    Eeeeeek still nervous to show them! haha

  3. Gaah, you are such a cutie! You don’t have to get me anything sweetie. The fact that you read all my mile-long emails is a big enough gift for me. But, speaking of – is there anything Swedish you’d like for your birthday? 😉

  4. Like I said, i look forward to your emails 🙂 you prob know more bout my life at this stage than some of my best friends! Oooh if it’s not asking for too much, a map of Stockholm with places you recommend I visit? 🙂 so I can start planning my trip haha. What bout you? Anything from Australia you would like me to send? 😀

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