I was just about to post another annoying update about the fact that I’m still having doubts about my winter trip to Europe but I randomly decided to check the fabric website for drum n bass listings in December, not really expecting to see anything as listings go up 1st November.
Well, I got a surprise when I saw 3 gigs and guess what? I think all my doubts about making the right decision are gone. As my friends here in Perth & NZ keep gushing about their NYE plans, I’ve been getting more & more uncertain about my decision. Well I just found out I’ll be seeing most of them in December anyway, and a few others I’ve been dying to see again. So while people in Perth will be paying $300 to see half the artists, I’ll be seeing 23 of them for $90 (over 3 nights), plus more to be announced & some who I haven’t seen in 2 or 3 years.
I guess you could say I have nothing to worry about anymore. I’m seeing all the artists I wanted to, an experience you can only get in London. Summer in Perth can wait. I’ve got 2 weeks to relax by the water before Europe & then 2 weeks after with Ksenia.
I’m so happy to have reached this point. Lets hope these doubts are all behind me now.
I’ve been very confused recently about where I consider home. Past few weeks, I’ve started thinking about how at home I feel here in Perth, something I never thought would ever happen because I used to despise Perth purely because I was forced to move here. I’ve made some really good friends here & feel like I’ve found a place here where I fit.
But speaking to Zhora, one of my close friends from NZ last week made me realise where home is: West Auckland. Speaking to Ksenia & Sophie makes me miss them but when I talk to Zhora, I miss her AND home. As much as Ksenia & Sophie are my best friends, Zhora is the one the most like me so her describing things back home actually makes me feel like I’m there but then I get sad because I realise it’s her, not me.
So last week, I had a massive rush of home sickness overcome me, 4 years after I moved.
Will I ever overcome it? Or is it like your first love, something you will never forget?
I look at drum n bass line ups and no longer care. The only ones I care about seeing are the ones I’m seeing in Bali in 6 weeks. It’s a little crazy how my life once evolved around drum n bass but now that’s not the case. Maybe I’m going through one of my phases or maybe I’ve finally come to terms with it all. The fact that I don’t have to be out every weekend, going to the same clubs, seeing the same crowd, making small chit chat with the same social group.
I distanced myself from this crowd 5 weeks ago, the week before my birthday. After spending a week on the east coast of Australia, I went out the other night for a friends birthday. Nothing’s changed. Same crowd, same group, same atmosphere. I actually couldn’t wait to get out of there.
When I sign onto Facebook, I see constant updates about this gig, that gig & of course, New Years Eve. When I see the names of the artists, I don’t feel anything. I’ve seen them all & don’t feel like I have to see them again, even though one of my favourite artists will be coming over.
I no longer care about missing out. I already know that when I look back in 5 years time, all these gigs will blur into one. They already are starting to.
New & improved Anna?