Last night, I sat in on a team call with two superstars from the US, Chris and Lori Harder, organised by the inspirational Peta Kelly. In the hour or so, there were tips about personal development, breaking through your own setbacks and how to expand your business (applicable for pretty much anyone). Sometime between listening in & getting out of bed this morning, I’ve felt a massive shift in my mindset. I went to bed upset over what happened over the weekend but promised myself that Tuesday was a new day & I would approach it differently.
After hearing how Peta says ‘thank you’ a hundred times every morning & how Anna writes pages and pages of things she’s grateful for every morning, I came up with something that currently fits my time constraints.
Instead of falling back asleep once my alarm went off, I used that 10 minutes to say out loud all the things I was grateful for this morning. This morning I was so grateful for a fresh start; the opportunity to change the way I handle situations; the warm weather; the friends who listen when I’m a bawling mess; the fulfilling work I’ve got going on; the fresh food that my life is never short of; the upcoming holidays I’ve got planned but most importantly, the brand new day I’ve been given that is not owed to me & can be taken from me in a heart beat.
With 9 days to go until all my assignments, reports, quizzes and presentations are due, I’ve never felt more motivated to put in 110%. I’ve gone a little off track this month, strayed from what I’ve had my mind set to, shifted my energy to things that didn’t serve me in the long run (ahh hindsight!) but luckily, that didn’t last long. You live & you learn and I definitely needed that wake up call, at that exact moment.
Now, time to lock myself inside for the next nine days! Considering how much has changed in the last nine days, lets see what I’ve got to report back on next.
Photo taken at Matarangi Beach, Coromandel (NZ)
Looking back over the last week, I can pinpoint an exact moment when things changed for the better. The exact moment I thought to myself, “I’m sick of feeling like this, I’m sick of these thoughts running around in circles”. The exact moment it happened, I had this out of body experience. It felt like I had taken a step back and watched myself from the outside. And as I watched on, I thought, “why am I getting involved in something that doesn’t benefit me nor does it have to have this negative impact on me”. So with that, I finally let go of what was holding me back. I let go of taking on problems that weren’t mine to solve & I accepted the fact that these things happened but they are now in the past. It was the conclusion to one chapter in my life that I hope I never have to open again.
I don’t think the finer details matter so much now, I think all that matters is that I’m heading in a better direction.
(photo idea from this image)
I spent a lot of time at home this weekend. I go through those periods where I’m extremely busy and then quite the opposite soon after. I didn’t have any definite plans this weekend so I kept to myself. I took my time getting out of bed in the mornings, I attempted to study but the thought of it was too much- I didn’t accomplish much. I went for walks both days, went furniture shopping and attempted to go clothes shopping but mission unsuccessful once again.
There’s 51 hours from the time I leave the office on a Friday evening to the time I have to return Monday morning and what exactly did I do with that time? I feel like most of this weekend cannot be explained. I spent a lot of time emptying my mind of all my thoughts and filling it with new day dreams and fantasies. I feel better now than I have in weeks. I feel like I have more inspiration and more drive. I’ve been missing them both.
This week, I’m going to my new place & dropping off some of my things. My new room is still occupied so I’m just waiting impatiently for that to be empty so I can finally move in.
I’m reading a book at the moment called “What makes us tick” by Hugh McKay and it’s about the ten desires that drive us. I just read the chapter about the desire for ‘my place’ and I can’t help but relate to the chapter in so many ways.
I’ve grown up thinking I had to have one home but after living in three countries, and traveling through dozens, I can’t help but state I have multiple homes. There’s so many places in the world where I feel comfortable, places I can escape to, places I like to think as my own. And you know what? That’s normal.
So no more choosing between this or that, there’s so many different places in the world that define who I am.
What and where do you call ‘home’ ?
I was just listening to a drum n bass podcast & an artist I respect alot said, “Live music is life changing” and it inspired me to write. Inspiration is all around me & just sitting here, listening to this podcast, something in me has changed.
Seeing my favourite hip hop duo on Friday night, changed me. I was taken on a journey & now I’m left with this constant thought in my mind: Should I move or not?
Melbourne has been on my mind since I first visited May 2009 but it wasn’t until the past few months that I’ve seriously considered moving there. I didn’t realise they actually had my course until yesterday so it’s really thrown me off. I haven’t been able to think straight since.
It’s been 4 years since I moved to Perth & I think it’s time for a new adventure. I think I’m capable of another move but this time alone. I also think I’m capable of living on my own.
But only problem is, I have to decide as soon as possible. If I want to move, I have to do so before February, as soon as I come back from Europe so I start university there.
I have alot of phone calls to make with universities, banks & friends that studied over there.
Can I do it?
I’ve been so caught up with work, study & the gym lately, I haven’t had time to update this or my livejournal, let alone write in my paper journal. I bailed on dinner plans with 2 girlfriends tonight so I could have a night to myself. More so than ever, I’m listening to my body very very carefully and it’s telling me to rest.
Even though I haven’t had a chance to write in my journals, I’ve exchanged emails with my dear friend T on a daily basis for weeks now & it’s given me an opportunity to write in the moment & not really filter my thoughts. Even though life has been so hectic past few weeks, I’m thankful I can look back on these emails & see what I was feeling at a certain time.
It seems like every birthday I change alot before & after. Last year, I had just broken up with my boyfriend. This year, I realised who my true friends were & realised I needed to make a lot of changes to my life.
I’m just so thankful I’ve had someone like T to write to everyday & get feedback on everything because there has been a lot going on lately.
It’s hope things calm down now!